Summary

In Part IX: Spiral, Chapter 19/Where I Went, Esther feels full after the journalists leave, so she goes outside and thinks about her conversation with Jane. She cries because there is no longer enough space inside her for her tears, and as her heart breaks at the thought of the Gulu girl she helped kill, she wonders when it will stop; it feels as though it could kill her, and she even wishes it would.

Esther wakes some time later and is surprised to experience a new, peaceful feeling. At dinner, she enjoys listening to people talk, and after that day, she knows that crying is the first step to feeling better since she feels a change come over her after her tears fell. One morning, she watched the boys kicking a ball in the field, and when it nears her, she...