Dirk Gently, holistic detective

Dirk describes himself as not being like other private detectives. His methods of investigation are as chaotic as his life. Dirk's house is covered in cigarette butts, coffee mugs, and shoes, and his fridge contains something terrifying. Dirk can not even get out of bed without smoking several cigarettes and is determined to do whatever he must to avoid opening his fridge again. He is a sloppy, overweight man, who thinks nothing of casually stealing from strangers. Dirk drives an old Jaguar when he can afford gas and navigates by finding someone who looks as if they know where they are going and follows them until they stop, at which time, he crashes into them. This has the result that he rarely gets where he is trying to go, but he often ends up where he needs to be. In describing his methods of investigation...