Summary

This story is told in a series of letters written by a man named Mark Cassandra, or Cass, who is mailing the letters from the Starlight Addiction Recovery Center. The first letter is addressed to a woman named Jennifer Johnston, who wrote Cass a note in the fifth grade professing her love to him, which he has been hung up on ever since. He tells her in the last four years he has been arrested eight times, shot twice, run over once, and loved a couple thousand women, but none as much as her.

The next letter is addressed to Cass’s friend and sponsor, Bob. Mark tells Bob this is one of the few letters he actually plans on mailing because he needs a few things from the box he is keeping in Bob’s closet, namely clothes, as...