Summary

A beautiful young woman named Celia spends five hours getting dressed. This time is needed, the narrator explains, for her to create her elaborate outfit. Strephon, a young man who is in love with Celia, comes into the room and finds it empty while Celia's maid, Betty, is elsewhere. Strephon takes this opportunity to look at the room and catalogue its contents.

He finds a smock, which is badly stained and foul-smelling in the underarms. He finds various combs, filled with "Sweat, dandriff, powder, lead and hair," and the oily cloth Celia uses to clean her face (24). There are flowers, but only to stop the foul smells coming from her body, gloves made out of a pet dog that has died, and puppy urine, which was used to bleach the face. There are various oils and face-paints, and a filthy basin that she has...