The following version of this book was used to create the guide: Hiaasen, Carl. Squeeze Me. Alfred A. Knopf, 2020.

In Carl Hiaasen's novel, Squeeze Me, when prestigious elderly widow Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons disappears during a charity ball Palm Beach, Florida is thrown into disarray. The morning after her disappearance the event venue's caretaker calls Angie Armstrong, owner and operator of Discreet Captures, to euthanize a mysterious snake on the island property. Not long later, Angie's apartment and storage unit are burglarized. When she learns of Kiki's disappearance, she realizes the bulge in the dead python's stomach is the missing widow. The burglars must have robbed her to find the snake and hide the evidence of Kiki's death.

Indeed, the caretaker hired two men to dispose of the snake and body. Before burying Kiki, they stole her jewels. Fleeing the scene, however, the python fell out of the truck, later blocking the first lady, Mockingbird's, entrance into town.

Meanwhile, Angie poses her python theory to local police chief, Jerry Crosby. Having heard a young immigrant, Diego Beltrán was also accused of the crime, Crosby is unsure what to believe. His interviews with Diego soon prove the young man's innocence. When Angie hears the information Crosby has, she urges him to help secure Diego's release. Crosby refuses, as he does not want to jeopardize his career. Furthermore, Diego's detention has been promoted by the president, Mastodon, and used as a political ploy to spread xenophobic messages. Angie's new friend Secret Service agent Paul Ryskamp is also worried about meddling with Diego's case. However, because Ryskamp is romantically interested in Angie, he agrees to help.

Worried about Diego, Angie begins visiting him in jail. She promises him she will do whatever she can to help him. Diego remains disheartened, terrified of being killed by violent white supremacist inmates.

Eventually the authorities learn that the men hired to take care of Kiki's body are both dead. Just as the case seems nearly resolved, another slew of pythons randomly appears around the island. Unable to make sense of their appearance, Angie, Ryskamp, and Crosby decide someone must be attempting to send a message.

With the help of her stepson, Joel, Angie meets Jim Tile, who puts her in contact with ex-governor Clinton Tyree. When Angie visits Tyree's secret island, she is shocked to see how many enormous pythons he is breeding. Though he does not want Angie to stop his schemes, he admits that he is behind all the snakes on Palm Beach. He is sick of the president, and wants to at least scare him out of Florida. Tyree disappears shortly thereafter.

Angie tells Crosby and Ryskamp what she has learned. The men fear Tyree will unleash the snakes at the upcoming Commander's Ball at the Winter White House, Casa Bellicosa. On the night of the event, they are prepared for any and all possible reptile threats against the president and his wife's lives. Suddenly Angie spots a python on the verge of striking an elderly woman. She kills it swiftly and saves the woman's life.

Afterwards, Ryskamp retires from the Secret Service. Angie leaves Palm Beach for a while to stay with her new boyfriend.