Simon offers a mixed review of The Real Thing, marveling at Stoppard's theatrical skill while lamenting the mental gymnastics required to keep pace with the play right's language.

The playwright hero of Noel Coward's story "The Wooden Madonna" has been called by critics "a second Somerset Maugham," "a second Noel Coward," and "a second Oscar Wilde." I am sure that Tom Stoppard has been hailed as all that and more, and with some justification, even though unlike those three he is heterosexual. Surely his new play, The Real Thing, is as literate (barring the occasional grammatical lapse), witty, and dizzyingly ingenious as anything you will have seen in a long time, except for Noises Off, which, however, is farce rather than high comedy. In fact, Stoppard is as clever a playwright as you can find operating today in the English language. Therein lies his strength and also...