Summary

In “If Something is Free the Product is You,” a narrator recalls an incident that occurred while he was in prison. A fellow inmate named Jerome stole a screwdriver and asked the narrator to hide it for him. A short time later, Jerome died of a supposed suicide, though the narrator is suspicious of the cause of death. The narrator, who admits he was in prison for financial crimes, was suddenly in possession of a hot commodity, and used it to finesse favors from his fellow inmates, making excuses so he never had to actually hand over the screwdriver. The narrator is out of prison now, but finds himself still thinking of screwdrivers often.

In “Never Look at Your Phone,” a man named Freddie was pushing...