Chapter One (Jason) Summary

Jason Carrillo has walked around the block three times trying to convince himself to enter the Rainbow Youth meeting. He's terrified that he might be seen there, but terrified of what will happen to him if he doesn't figure out what's happening inside him. He has a long-term girlfriend whom he's been intimate with, but Jason can't shake the dreams he's been having about naked men. He's the star of the high school basketball team, and he hasn't admitted to anyone, not even himself, that he is gay. He is terrified of how coming-out could affect his life, and his fears have morphed into hatred: hatred for himself, and hatred toward all homosexuals, especially Nelson, a particularly flamboyant gay student at his school. Despite this, Jason feels compelled to attend the meeting, and is shocked when he sees Nelson...