The following version of this book was used to create this study guide: Broome, Brian. Punch Me Up To The Gods: A Memoir. New York: Mariner Books, 2021.

The narration begins with Brian Broome standing at a bus stop in Pennsylvania, watching a young family with their son. The boy, Tuan, begins to cry and his father tells him to be a man. Brian is called into memories of his own painful childhood suppressing his “feminine” behaviors and fighting against his homosexuality and Blackness.

Brian flashes back to his school years and his distinct lack of coolness in comparison to the other Black boys in his year. He was also not interested in girls or fighting, another fact which separated him. He chose to focus more on school and playing with his sister, drawing the ire of his father. Brian’s father beat him with no hesitation whenever he did not act tough, trying to remind him to be a strong Black man and not show weakness to others.

As Brian grows older, he draws further away from his father and into himself. He does not have a strong relationship with his mother either, but he does not fear physical violence from her. When his father loses his job, Brian’s mother must go to work and pull the family out of poverty. Her husband grows resentful that she is taking his place as the head of the household and he becomes withdrawn and bitter around the house. When she kicks him out and petitions for divorce, Brian’s mother finally begins to find more energy that she devoted to her children. All the while, Brian is harboring crushes on boys at school and spending all of his time trying to hide his homosexuality for the shame he feels.

An unexpected fire rips through Brian’s childhood home and they are forced to move in with his aunt. His mother is devastated, and the additional distance pushes Brian’s father firmly into the background of his life. Brian is beaten down by the constant hopelessness of their poverty, and he resolves to find a way out of the small-town.

When he goes to college in Akron, Brian is free to be a little more of himself. He ventures out to a gay students’ alliance meeting before he is discovered by his roommates for being gay. He is fearful and leaves school before trying to commit suicide once he returns home. Eventually, Brian moves to Pittsburgh and again ventures out into the gay community at the Pride festival.

As time passes, Brian grows dependent on drugs and alcohol to facilitate his entry into the casual sex scene, and he holds hopes of finding a partner to love him. He is unsuccessful, and he soon loses control of his addiction. After Brian’s father passes away, Brian continues examining his childhood trauma and forgiving his parents for the kind of love they showed him.

As the memoir comes to a close, Brian again watches Tuan on the bus. He goes to the airport and travels to the French Riviera where he writes Tuan a letter to express his hopes that his childhood will be loving and fulfilling in all of the ways that his own was not.