Summary

The co-worker introduces Colin Heavey, who did not heed the co-worker’s warning of avoiding Anika Bloom, resulting in him acting much differently in the office. The co-worker then shows the new employee the various “fire exits” (5) in the office, and the co-worker mentions the office’s “comprehensive health plan” (6), which accounts for tragic situations such as the employees’ children developing “hideous degenerative muscle disease” (6). The orientation takes an immediate turn from this morbid topic into information about the office's holiday and sick leave policy, which is "generous" (6).

The co-worker proceeds to talk about the kitchen and lunch etiquette. The co-worker tells the new employee that one is not permitted to touch the “Mr. Coffee” (6) machine, and one can heat food in the microwave, but not cook food in the microwave. The new employee learns that the lunch hour is a "right", while the...