For none of us can possibly begin to have an "I" without some early assistance from an "other." All of us, in the beginning, need a mother who helps us be, a mother who helps us reach out and claim what is ours, a mother who helps us establish a central certainty — as unquestioned as our heartbeat — that our wishes and our feelings are our own. (65)

No matter how hard they clap for us now, she will never clap for us then. We have to relinquish that hope. We have to let go.(79-80)

"The potter who works with clay recognizes the limitations of his material," writes Margaret mead; "He must temper it with a given amount of sand, glaze it thus, keep it at such and such a temperature, fire it at such a heat. But by recognizing the limitations of his material he does...