Chapter 20 Summary and Analysis

Viorst's conclusion is that "losing is the price we pay for living" and is "also the source of much of our growth and gain." Accepting, over and over, and giving up what we care about is part of losing the illusion of absolute safety and gaining the freedom of standing alone. We give up our expectations and connect where we can, renouncing the idea of perfection in relationships, confronting losses, mourning them and adapting.

She feels that there is a frequent convergence of opposites, such as loving and hating, being good and bad, repetitive and changing, out of control and yet authoring our own lives. She feels each stage shakes up and revises our self and we can get insight at any age. We can reverse our decisions, and must include continuity as well as change. We must include inner and...