Chapter 16 Summary and Analysis

Judith Viorst describes loss as a "lifelong human condition." Mourning our losses depends on many factors, and there is some agreement that a pattern exists in mourning. Although there is no formula for mourning, the patterns can enlighten us about the process.

The first stage of mourning often involves shock, disbelief, and the inability to grasp the reality of what has happened. Following this denial is a period of pain and anger. Our anger is often focused on the person who has passed on or whomever we perceive has caused the death. We can also feel anger at ourselves, sometimes coupled with guilt, over "what we have done — and what we didn't do." We imagine that things should have been different, and ways that our own behaviors should have been different. Also in this phase, people often tend to idealize...