Chapters 3-4 Summary and Analysis

Human children naturally withdraw from the bliss of oneness through an evolving perception of distinctness, or "differentiation." As babies grow and become upright they can "grow drunk on omnipotence and grandeur," being narcissistic, megalomaniacal and imperialistic, but we still view mother as an appendage, and she is always our safety net.

Eventually, we lose our self-perceived status as "king of the world," and begin to develop fears about separation and seek parental assurance, just in case we cannot make it out there in the big world. The stepping out and pulling back goes on at every stage of development - we want to be free, and we want to be protected. When mothers who reject our dependency push us from the nest too early, we "adapt, or crumple, or compromise...we give in, or make do, or prevail," all...