Today's Special Summary and Analysis

In this essay, Sedaris is having dinner with his boyfriend Hugh at a restaurant in New York. Unlike Hugh, Sedaris has not arrived dressed for the occasion. He borrows a jacket from the restaurant, a jacket that looks like a marching band uniform.

Before ordering their entrée, Sedaris and Hugh are offered an amuse bouche, a fancy sort of appetizer. To Sedaris this appetizer appears to be a Band-Aid floating in chocolate. Of course, it is not really a Band-Aid, but a sliver of swordfish.

When their entrées arrive, Sedaris complains that he cannot discern whose entrée is whose. Apparently the lengthy descriptions on the menu aren't much help to Sedaris. Each plate displays a decorative tower of edible parts. These dishes are certainly not recognizable as traditional fair.

A concoction of fish afloat in a...