Chapter 5 Summary

The 4077th has a good dentist, Captain Walter Koskusko Waldowski, from Michigan and he takes care of hundreds of troops. He is named The Painless Pole as a result and runs the only popular Dental Clinic in Korea. The clinic also has a poker table and beer. Waldowski becomes quite popular as a result. He also has an intense weakness for women and is unmarried but engaged to three young women at the same time. The Captain is well-known for his extremely large genitalia, which many men visit the 4077th to see while he showers (this was unknown to him, but known to his corporal, who sells rights to watch behind his back).

Periodically Waldowski becomes depressed and one day he announces to the doctors of the Swamp that he is going to commit suicide. The doctors joke a bit but when Blake...