Summary

10.59. Insisting that “today will be a day of joy” (155), Sara cleans her home from top to bottom (twice) and does the dishes until her hands are sore. At the end of the day, “the apartment is clean. But my hands are still dirty” (155). The section ends: #iamahappymotherfucker.

12.50. Sara reflects on how her day of joy has been a failure, since she cannot help but think ahead to all the things the newborn baby is going to face (including arguing with her mother, having a broken heart, and being abandoned). She again refers to how her hands are still dirty, how she has no compassion for herself, and how she destroys everything she touches. The section ends: #realitycheck.

Sara then goes online to search for answers to some of her questions and thoughts. On Facebook, comments on photos of the baby...