"I am in here" (Chapter 1, Year of Glad, pg. 3.)

"The familiar panic at feeling misperceived is rising, and my chest bumps and thuds. I expend energy on remaining utterly silent in my chair, empty, my eyes two great pale zeros. People have promised to get me through this" (Chapter 1, Year of Glad, pg. 8.)

"I have been coached for this like a Don before a RICO hearing" (Chapter 1, Year of Glad, pg. 9.)

"He had never been so anxious for the arrival of a woman he did not want to see" (Chapter 2, Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, pg. 23.)

"I'm the potentially gifted ten-year-old tennis and lexical prodigy whose mom's a continental mover and shaker in the prescriptive-grammar academic world and whose dad's a towering figure in optical and avant-garde film circles and single-handedly founded the Enfield Tennis Academy but drinks Wild Turkey at like 5:00 a.m. and pitches over...