The SantaLand Diaries Summary

David Sedaris sits in a coffee shop reading the employment page when he discovers an advertisement soliciting elves to work in the Macy's department store SantaLand. Even though he has reservations about becoming a pitiable figure in a public department store, he is desperate for work so that he can pay off his student loans. Since his dream of becoming a writer for the television soap opera "One Life to Live," has yet to be realized, the middle-aged Sedaris decides to interview for the position. After a probing and thorough intellectual, psychological, and physical evaluation, Sedaris is hired.

The next step is to train the newly-hired elves. Sedaris learns how to manage the cash register, a daunting feat that paralyzes Sedaris with fear that he will fail and be beaten to death by irate customers. He also dreads the...