Of course I’d like to win the prize, but can’t quite let myself imagine that; I don’t like to imagine the alternative, either. Both options make my self-doubt flare, since to win would seem the strangest of flukes, an honor I couldn’t possibly merit, and to lose would confirm my own restless doubts. This is the terrible dilemma of prizes: we cannot believe we deserve them, and we cannot quite believe we don’t.”
-- Narration (Author) (Prelude)

Importance: This quote offers insights into an important part of the overall perspective, values, and psyche of the author. In essence, it refers to and evokes a sense of conflict and dichotomy (that is: two simultaneously held truths that seem to be in opposition) about his work. More importantly, the idea of dichotomy infuses much of the rest of the narrative as well, the idea that suffering caused him pain but also made...