"Do you know what it feels like to be diminished within someone else? Oh, to be diminished within an aunt is unseemly enough, but to be diminished within a huge, commonplace prof is the peak of unseemly diminishment." —Chapter 1, Abduction, page 16

"'That's the pupa, the pupa,' said Pimko, 'I can see I'm placing my Joey in good hands. Because there is nothing worse than teachers who are personable, especially if they happen to have opinions of their own. Only a truly irksome pedagogue can inculcate the pupils with that adorable immaturity, that engaging helplessness and clumsiness, that lack of savoir vivre that should be the hallmark of our youth so they'll provide a target for us, the earnest and inspired pedagogues that we are.'" —Chapter 2, Imprisonment and Further Belittlement, page 37

"Gentlemen, it's not within your power to transform yourselves, well, let's say from Tuesday...