Howard Summary and Analysis

Marianne continued living in New York and moved in with a musician Hilly Michaels. She said Hilly was the worst of all the men she lived with. He also looked like Dracula. She also felt that he was partially using her to help his career.

She said her life appeared normal, but every day she was waking up with pain and self-hatred. She said it never occurred to her to stop doing drugs. She writes, "The classic agony of addiction. You can't stop and you can't go on. And that's exactly where I was. The pain of living without drugs was as bad as the pain of living with drugs. When you use drugs in such a willful way, you are transgressing some elemental code."

One day, Marianne overdosed and she went into some sort of coma. Though she was still...