Summary

Chapter 4, which takes place “Eight years before conception” (111), opens with a scene in which Amy had inhaled poppers and began to cry while having sex with Reese. The narration implies that Amy had become emotional in part because of the effect of the drug but also because she felt vulnerable and was so happy to be with Reese that she feared losing her. Amy had become aware that Reese had a reputation for treating others badly and being mentally unstable. This impression was relayed to her by a trans man named Ricky, among others. Ricky, who had dated Reese, claimed that she had a habit of telling people whatever they most needed to hear.

Reese asked Amy why she had been crying and Amy explained that the poppers had caused her to feel present. She reflected on the coping mechanisms she had used to...