We must all decide again and again whom we love.
-- Frank O'Hara (chapter 1)

Importance: This quote, the novel's epigraph, comes from Frank O'Hara's 1957 poem, “To The Film Industry In Crisis.” In the first person poem, O'Hara declares film the only medium he truly loves, and he says it has shaped his morality more than any other art form. The timing of his declaration has political significance. Many performers were unfairly blacklisted as suspected communists after the McCarthy hearings of 1954. In the context of the narrative of Conversations With Friends, the significance of the quote is personal, not political. As a partner in an unconventional relationship structure, Frances decides again and again whom and how she loves. She also continually reassesses whether or not she loves herself. Like O'Hara in the poem, Frances initially feels more comfortable finding her identity through her reactions to others' artwork—Bobbi's performances of Frances' spoken word poems, Melissa's photography...