Summary

David has found that, as people get older, they either get crazy about their dogs or their diets. His brother Paul, for example, is obsessed with juicing and believes apricot seeds prevent cancer. The ocean-side of Emerald Isle reminds David of an upscale retirement community which foreshadows his not-too-distant future. He wonders, "How can that be when only yesterday, on this very same beach, we were children?" (82). Still, the alternative to getting old is worse, David thinks as he remembers his mother's ill health. His father, however, at 91, is in excellent shape. A visit from a plumber who comments on last year's particularly cold winter prompts Mr. Sedaris to say, "And they talk about global warming. Ha!" and then to hassle David to go to the doctor for a checkup.

On a walk around Emerald Isle, David discovers a canal full of turtles. His...