"I mean, how do you think you'd feel if you opened the door at seven o'clock in the morning to see your exact double standing on your front porch, dressed all in white, clutching a shiny Bible in one hand and a banged-up suitcase in the other? I'm lucky I didn't terminate right then and there" (Chapter 3).

"Four years ago today, mandatory blood tests confirmed that 75 percent of sixth through eighth graders at Princeton Day Academy Junior School had been infected with the Virus. Most parents hoped it was the unfunniest prank ever" (Chapter 7).

"The Church promises that there's no greater way for young women to please God than to take the sacraments. But the closer I got to my own marriage and maternity, the more I felt like I was only as praiseworthy as my healthy womb" (Chapter 10).

"They didn't ask a single question as to the...