Fear

Throughout her memoir, the author uses descriptions of her experience living with cancer in order to explore the ways in which fear might dominate the individual's psyche. When Suleika first starts experiencing symptoms of her leukemia, she is eager to ignore them. In Chapter 1, "The Itch," she describes the ways in which her persistent itching and plaguing fatigue begin to concern her. Though her fellow college friends agree that they are also tired, Suleika says, "And yet, I worried my fatigue was different" (5). Despite her worry, Suleika does not seek medical attention. She is desperate to hold onto the life she is just beginning after graduation, and fears that a definite diagnosis might halt her plans for the future.

Over the course of the chapters that follow, Suleika's worsening health forces her to confront her worst fear. When she first receives her acute myeloid leukemia diagnosis in Chapter...