Hiding Homosexuality/"Courtier's Role"

Paul becomes afraid of his classmates learning that he is gay after witnessing vicious bullying of "queers" and "homos." He throws himself into the role he refers to as the "courtier." He takes on a charming, outgoing personality in an attempt to divert attention from his sexuality. Although he eventually falls out of this "courtier's role," Paul never allows his true self to come out, continuing to take on different personas throughout his life. In Yale, he takes on the persona of a heterosexual male. Wanting desperately to fit in with his athletic, attractive roommates, he does anything to please them, including making fun of the gay men on campus. In order to be one of the guys, he is also required to date women, which he does. He makes up stories of his conquests with women, drawing from details he has heard other men...