"Fat Charlie was only ever fat for a handful of years from shortly before the age of 10, which was when his mother announced to the world that if there was one thing she was over and done with (and if the gentleman in question had any argument with it he could just stick it you know where) it was her marriage to that elderly goat that she had made the unfortunate mistake of marrying and she would be leaving in the morning for somewhere a long way away and he had better not try to follow, to the age of 14, when Fat Charlie grew a bit and exercised a little more. He was not fat" (Chapter 1, p. 3).

"Rosie was not going to sleep with Fat Charlie until they were married. She said it was her decision, and she had made it when she was 15, not that she had...