May 18, 1942 through October 12, 1942 (Pages 133 - 231) Summary and Analysis

On page 135, Etty refuses to allow her faith in God to lapse at such a time of terror and abject fear. She praises God at all times and comes to love the world at large and the beauty she sees outside her window and in her relationships. More importantly, HIllesum refuses to blame God for allowing the atrocities against the Jews (and all of humanity) to continue. At the same time, however, Etty feels guilt about living so abundantly while others are forced to make due with considerably less. On page 139, Etty begins preparing herself for life in a very small cell. Given the young woman's propensity toward the ascetic life, there may have been something rather appealing about this mental exercise.

Etty is well aware of the threat that the Germans pose...