Summary

Chapter 1: bell hooks writes that our confusion about the definition of love is the source of our difficulty in loving. She challenges the idea of love as a noun and encourages readers to think of it as a verb; love is about action more than emotion. She cautions against confusing love with affection and care, defining love as "the will to nurture our own and another's spiritual growth" (36). Love cannot exist in a situation where there is abuse and/or neglect.

Previously, hooks had difficulty identifying her childhood family as dysfunctional and loveless, as she received affection and care alongside shame and abuse. As an adult, it was a process for her to be able to stop denying the bad moments of her childhood. Though it is difficult, she encourages readers to accept the idea that we are never loved in a context...