Chapter 7 - How to Talk About What Happened Summary and Analysis

Chapter 7 is of average length and offers tools that can be used by couples to allow them to talk about the affair, its aftermath, and its root causes. As a failure to communicate is often the seminal cause of marital dysfunction, the chapter provides a crucial skill to those attempting to rehabilitate a post-affair relationship. The chapter is divided into two major parts—the first focuses on methods for intimate talk, and the second focuses on methods for intimate listening.

Intimate talk about the affair is crucial to resolving differences, exploring and learning from the affair, and moving forward in the relationship. Two dysfunctional ways of attempting intimate talk are silence and storm. Silence is a refusal on the part of one or both partners to...