Summary

36 – While on a writing retreat with her friend Amit, the author discovers layers of meaning in the word “abandon” – to relinquish control to someone or something, or to leave behind. She also discovers relationships in Hebrew - to the word “father,” to a place of both destruction and safety, and to the devil. Meanwhile, the author is waiting for a phone call from Amaia: instead, she gets a call from Amaia’s wife, asking her to think of whom she was hurting and eventually calling her evil. The author realizes how much pain she is causing even while knowing that Amaia will never leave her. She also wonders whether she is, in fact, evil, feeling like it would be easier for everyone if she left.

37 – While visiting Jon, the author goes into his basement with him, Pat, and Joan...