"Our architect, an expatriate Parisian, had warned us that building in Provence was very similar to trench warfare, with long periods of boredom interrupted by bursts of violent and noisy activity," February, p. 34

"[The French] spend as much of their income on their stomachs as the English do on their cars and stereo systems," April, p. 72

"What is it that changes from the color of a dead rat to the color of a dead lobster in three hours? Les Anglais en vacances... even a moonbeam makes them pink," August, p. 134

"What do you mean, they don't take credit cards?" "You've run out of vodka." "There's a very peculiar smell in the bathroom." "I didn't realize you had to be so careful with a septic tank." "Do you think you could take care of this? I've only got a five hundred-franc note." "I feel terrible watching you slave away...