by Kerry Danner

About the author: Kerry Danner is a freelance writer in Arlington, Virginia.

A few years ago when friends Ted and Nikki started PreCana [a program that prepares engaged Catholic couples for marriage], they decided against telling the priest that they were living together. One night, as they took part in a marriage preparation exercise with other engaged couples, that conflict came to a head.

A group of about 10 couples sat around in a circle with a priest and a sponsoring married couple. In the middle was a hatful of small pieces of paper, each proposing a hypothetical scenario involving "your future spouse."

Each person had to draw from the hat and, using their imagination and problem-solving skills, respond to the scenario described. As Nikki told the story, she picked a paper out of the hat, read...