by April Martin

About the author: April Martin is a psychologist in private practice.

As lesbian and gay prospective parents we do an extraordinarily thorough and responsible job of exploring our concerns and evaluating our suitability for parenthood. The children of lesbians and gay men are the most considered and planned-for children on earth. There is virtually no such thing as an unwanted child among us. We go to support groups and workshops on considering parenthood. We talk to our friends and lovers and family. We talk to our therapists. We read books. Many years may go into the planning process. We do an impressively careful job of weighing our needs, our resources, and our expectations....

We live in a society which pressures heterosexuals to raise children and pressures lesbians and gay men not to...