by Mary J. Quinn and Susan K. Tomita

About the authors: Registered nurse Mary J. Quinn is the director of probate court services for the California Superior Court in San Francisco. Susan K. Tomita is an associate director of social work at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.

Caring for an elderly parent is rapidly becoming a “normative” adulthood life event, and it has been called an “unexpected career.” For older persons themselves, care from family and friends is the first choice; care from friends and neighbors is the second choice; and care from formal agencies and organizations is a last resort. Although it may be reassuring to learn that elders are not being abandoned in institutions, family care should not be idealized or romanticized. Some families care for an...