by Ginny NiCarthy

About the author: Ginny NiCarthy is a therapist, an activist in the movement to end violence against women, and the author of several self-help books for victims of abuse.

The Masculine Role

What does it mean to be a man? Therapists questioned in a 1968 survey said that the healthy mature man is very aggressive, dominant, self-confident, independent, active, competitive, decisive, knows the ways of the world, is not easily influenced nor excitable in minor crises, and when he is emotional he almost always hides it. Some therapists have changed their attitudes since the survey was made, but many have not.

Imagine for a moment what it’s like for a man to try to live up to that image. The definition of masculinity is fostered directly and indirectly by all of...