The generic term toughlove (or tough love) describes a style of caring applied in diverse interpersonal contexts whereby one person or group reasserts power over another for whom he or she is responsible. Claire Kowalski was the first person to use the term in published material, in 1976, to differentiate a respectful means of caring for elderly people that preserves self-mastery from a smothering style that promotes dependence. Since that first use, others have found the term useful. The Association of the Relatives and Friends of the Mentally Ill endorses the concept (Roberts, 1985). In its most common use today, the term describes the means by which parents of abusive, delinquent, or drug-abusing children can regain parental control. Toughlove is also the name of a SELF-HELP program for these parents and their children.

Toughlove, the self-help program, was developed by Phyllis and David York in 1980. They found that rescuing their...