Elaine Lightcap is the third wife of Henry. The book opens with Elaine leaving Henry in their home in Tuscon. He met Elaine as she walked past him with her father at a fair in Tuscon. Married for three years, Elaine finally tires of Henry's alcoholism and consistent inability to be the husband she wants him to be. Henry explains that Elaine went through several phases during their marriage, and that those phases were past of the problem. She learned gourmet cooking, but Henry hated most of her cooking that was not just meat and potatoes. Elaine let him know she never orgasmed, and the two tried to use several books to help, but eventually, Henry tires of trying, and wants to go back to making love.