Maxwell Bigelow, Appears in Daphne Bigelow and the Spine-chilling Saga of the Snail-encrusted Tinfoil Noose - A very successful businessman who lives with his daughter Daphne, on the North Side. They have a butler who answers the door, and a chauffeur who drives the car for them. He mistakenly believes the narrator to be one of the Pittsburgh Steel Shepherds, and treats him, initially like an equal. Astutely, he realizes that the narrator is just another boy at the public school his daughter attends.