Howie, Appears in The Star-crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski - Clerk at Pulaski's store who used to play softball with the narrator and also used to be fun. Now, he is married, had to leave highschool in order to do the right thing. He works nineteen hours a day, thin, red hawk like face, mustard yellow hair. After he had to get married, he is always mad. Howie is at the St. Ignatious party and looks harried, handing out doughnuts to his kids. His eyes seem to tell the narrator that he had better run while he still can.