What is the main rule that men must follow in Mem's house in the novel, The Third Life of Grange Copeland?

While holding Brownfield at gunpoint, Mem reads him a list of ten rules to follow in her house. The primary one is that he must behave like a man rather than the way white men expect him to; he must treat her and his children with respect. Mem's argument represents Walker's belief that one way African-Americans can avoid complicity in their oppression is to accept responsibility for their actions.