What is Oluo’s advice regarding white people’s use of the ‘n’ word and how does her advice value compassion over understanding?

After a lengthy chapter discussing the ugly history of the ‘n’ word and the violence with which it has been associated, Oluo addresses any white people who may still believe that they should have the right to utter the word. Oluo breaks down the problem into its essentials, and then urges any such reader to realize that compassion is called for in this situation, rather than a rabid need to understand or accept. Her final word is that it is never okay for a white person to utter the ‘n’ word.