What is the theme in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See?

Love and Pain make up a major theme in the book. Lily Wu learns very early that the love her mother has for her is entirely wrapped up in the pain she delivers to her. In fact, the Chinese word for mother means pain. The footbinding that a mother was obligated to do, was a terribly painful ritual in which her daughter's feet completely break down. Making her walk on her injured feet is the only way to get them to break, and the mother must force this, even if it means beatings. This is what will make the daughter lovable, and "marriageable."