What reason does Ender give Novinha for reconciling with him and how does she refute his argument?

In order to get Novinha to reconcile with him, Ender tells Novinha that since it is a married order she can only fully join the Children of the Mind of Christ with him by her side. She refutes his argument, telling him there is much she can do without being a full member and that he doesn't even believe in God.