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I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Chapter 29
Deborah, with much hard work, passes her equivalency exams with a high enough score to apply to college. She is proud when she calls to tell her parents, but her father's pathetic pride in her accomplishment reminds her that other people accomplish this task with ease. She walks to the town high school and sees the younger people still there after school, and she is reminded again of her otherness. She sees a young couple and thinks that she'll never have that.
She makes it to the hospital and gets packed on the D ward. At dinner, another patient throws her dish at Deborah, and then Deborah realizes that :
"her presence was making them struggle with Maybes. Suddenly she realized that she was a Doris Rivera, a living symbol of hope and failure and the terror they all felt of their own resiliency and hers, reeling punch-drunk from beating after beating, yet, at the secret bell, up again for more." Part 3, Chapter 29, Pg. 250
The last of Yr's holds on Deborah fades away when she remembers that Anterrabae, her Falling God was an image that she'd found in Milton's Paradise Lost. Even that image had been a projection of some earthly thing into her make-believe kingdom. Deborah decides then to let Yr go and give her full commitment to surviving in the world.
