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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How does Sigmund kill himself?
(a) He does not kill himself.
(b) By swallowing a barbell.
(c) He jumps out of a plane without a parachute.
(d) Running head first into a brick wall.

2. How long had Mr. Dubbs's brother been dead when he saw his ghost?
(a) 6 months.
(b) 2 weeks.
(c) 14 years.
(d) 24 hours.

3. What does the parrot become in one of Woody's story ideas?
(a) The secretary of agriculture.
(b) The Statue of Liberty.
(c) An eagle.
(d) A large fighting robot.

4. What question does a dead husband ask his living wife during a seance?
(a) If she ever really loved him.
(b) Why she had not remarried.
(c) How long chicken needs to broil.
(d) Where the remote control was.

5. Where are the essays at the beginning of the story supposed to be coming from?
(a) An online blog.
(b) Woody's secret journal.
(c) A outline for a comedy show.
(d) A book by Woody's favorite author.

6. What role does Flossie play in this story?
(a) She is Word's wife.
(b) She is a professor at a nearby university.
(c) She is the madam of the call-girl service.
(d) She is a police woman.

7. Which of the following words best describes the god shown in The Scrolls?
(a) Stand-offish.
(b) Uninvolved.
(c) Merciful.
(d) Arbitrary.

8. What reason does the killer give for murdering all those people?
(a) He believes that he is God.
(b) He is murdering everyone who was ever mean to him.
(c) None, reasons are for the sane.
(d) He was mistreated as a child.

9. What does Woody's brother use to beat him over the head?
(a) A pig bladder.
(b) A small child.
(c) A rubber chicken.
(d) A dinosaur bone.

10. What is Kleinman doing when the group of men come to call him to their vigilante hunt?
(a) Eating dinner.
(b) Watching television.
(c) Sleeping.
(d) Showering.

11. Which of the following does Woody not say is necessary for true love?
(a) Tenderness.
(b) General proximity.
(c) A modest quantity of raw physical strength.
(d) Adherence to the same religious beliefs.

12. What type of writings is A Brief, Yet Helpful, Guide to Civil Disobedience parodying?
(a) Writings of philosophical nature.
(b) Writings of speech makers.
(c) Writings of epic poets.
(d) Writings of ethicist authors.

13. In the end, what does God do just before Abraham is about to sacrifice Issac?
(a) God takes Issac away in a cloud of fire.
(b) God strikes Abraham down.
(c) He tells Abraham to kill Issac good and dead.
(d) He tells Abraham is was just a joke.

14. What news of Hacker does Gina reveal to Kleinman?
(a) That he has been murdered.
(b) He has left town because he is afraid of the strangler.
(c) He fell in a hole.
(d) That he is the killer.

15. What is it that Dorf is trying to get from his brother?
(a) A treasure map.
(b) A large bag of tools.
(c) His father's hereditary disease.
(d) His family's chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Short Answer Questions

1. Where does the title of this collection of stories come from?

2. Who helped catch the Dusseldorf Strangler?

3. What author does Kaiser brush up on using a Monarch College Outline?

4. What is the doctor's last dying request of Kleinman?

5. Why is Woody plagued with doubts about God?

(see the answer keys)

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