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Chapter 1, In which Benny Profane, a schlemihl and human yo-yo, gets to an apocheir

• Benny Profane enters a tavern in Norfolk, Virginia called the Sailor's Grave on Christmas Eve, 1955.

• The barmaid Beatrice gives him a drink.

• Another sailor, Pig Bodine, comes in and tells him about Pappy Hod, who split up with his young wife, Paola, from Malta.

• Mrs. Boffo comes out and plays a Christmas song, but Pig stops it for suck hour.

• Profane watches, the police arrive, and Profane, Pig and Paola flee to an apartment of another sailor, Morris Teflon.
• They stay there several nights, drinking vodka and are interrupted one night by Teflon and his camera. Paola and Profane have sex.

• Profane takes the film and leaves with Paola. They leave for Norfolk and Profane stays with Pig and Paola stays with one of the barmaids.

• Profane wakes up in the middle...

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