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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Nick yell at Willie?
(a) "You can't beat the machine!!!"
(b) "One more for the road?"
(c) "You have a phone call!"
(d) "Closing time, Willie!"

2. What is the Arab's stock reply to almost everything?
(a) "The early bird gets the worm."
(b) "No foundation, all the way down the line."
(c) "What goes around, comes around."
(d) "Make hay while the sun shines."

3. How often does Joe say that he drinks?
(a) Only when he's depressed.
(b) Only when he's thirsty.
(c) Only when he's awake.
(d) Only when he's bored.

4. What does Joe want Tom to get for him?
(a) A candy bar.
(b) A watermelon.
(c) A newspaper.
(d) Some coffee.

5. What does Joe say that people spend 23 boring hours doing each day?
(a) Praying.
(b) Sleepwalking.
(c) Waiting.
(d) Dreaming.

6. What does Joe say stopped him from crying as a young boy when his mother died?
(a) Candy.
(b) Carnivals.
(c) Toys.
(d) Movies.

7. What beverage does Joe buy for Kitty?
(a) Coffee.
(b) Champagne.
(c) Amaretto.
(d) Coke.

8. Why does Blick threaten to close down Nick's bar?
(a) The building does not meet the fire safety code.
(b) The liquor license is expired.
(c) The food license is not current.
(d) There are hookers working there.

9. What does Joe send Tom out to buy?
(a) Some Cuban cigars.
(b) A map of Europe and a gun.
(c) A case of champagne.
(d) Theater tickets.

10. What nationality do Joe and the woman share?
(a) German.
(b) Irish.
(c) Polish.
(d) Italian.

11. Why is Dudley so excited after receiving a phone call?
(a) His wife just had a baby.
(b) He got a new job.
(c) His home loan was approved.
(d) Elsie is coming to the bar.

12. For whom does Joe call out and then whistle for?
(a) The newsboy.
(b) Nick.
(c) Tom.
(d) Willie.

13. Who is Murphy?
(a) A beer salesman.
(b) A traveling salesman.
(c) An old trapper.
(d) A vagrant.

14. What color hair does Nick, the bar owner, have?
(a) None.
(b) Blonde.
(c) Black.
(d) Red.

15. Who is the woman who enters the bar and mesmerizes Tom?
(a) Kitty Duval.
(b) Kitty Katz.
(c) Kitty Devon.
(d) Kitty Dulaney.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the name of the horse Joe tells Nick to bet on?

2. What does Kit give the men in the bar all night?

3. How did Joe save Tom's life?

4. Joe is always eager, yet always ____________.

5. Why does Nick think so many different types of people come to his bar?

(see the answer keys)

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